Radiation Week 3 Done, Feeling the Effects
Some interesting and different stuff happened this week, as far as side effects go, and I'll get to them in a moment. But first, I had a pretty big day yesterday, treatment-wise. Before being taken in for radiation, I was met by Tammy, who had given me my first treatment tattoo and set me up with the CT. She told me that after my radiation, I would need to take another CT to prepare for the last leg of my treatment beginning later next week. Now that I've experienced some swelling and other changes in the breast, I can understand why they waited to take this CT until yesterday.
A quick memory jog for you: the first 16 sessions take place with my body facing down, left breast hanging through a hole in the table. The radiation machine treats one side of the area from the armpit to the ribs just below my breast, then swings above me (always feels like it's close enough to bonk me on the head, but never does) and treats the other side, extending to the center of my ribcage. Sometimes, they do it in reverse order.
The final 5 sessions, which they call a booster, will take place with my body laying on my right side, twisted with my left shoulder leaning back so that my scar side of the left breast is available for very targeted treatment.
Tammy and her colleague Kim (who sometimes sets up my treatment with Mitch, who is always there) instructed me to lie onto a thick, blue, bean bag-like pad on top of the CT table. Then, after explaining what would happen, they pushed the pad up around me so that it formed to my body's shape in that position. Then, Tammy used a compressor to vacuum the air out of the pad. The newly shaped form will be used for the future treatments to ensure they treat the same area each time.
They also took digital photographs of me in the position, similarly to they way they photographed me in the position I've been in for the past three weeks. That weirded me out because I'm really protective of my physical self. But, it's necessary for them to make sure they're getting the same spot at my scar every time.
Afterward, I walked across Easton Avenue to the CARES building at St. Peter's for my appointment with Dr. McManus, my breast surgeon. As ever, she thoroughly examined the area, especially the new scar offshoot in my armpit and my exceedingly sore nipple area (more on that later). Dr. McManus said that there is nothing to worry about, thankfully, and that everything she was seeing was as to be expected from radiation.
Then, she leaned in very close (we were both double-masked, with N95s underneath), held my newly trimmed head in her hands, looked me in the eyes, and said, "You're going to get through this, and you're going to be OK." It was profoundly comforting.
Speaking of newly trimmed, thanks again to Kate Jaggers, who gave me the Wahl trimmers; they have come in very handy! (Although, I need practice getting the back of my head.)
To say that I'm grateful to have today off from radiation is putting it lightly. This week, I've been feeling the side effects much more broadly and consistently. In short, the entire left side of my chest hurts all the time now.
Sleep has been even more difficult than usual because if I turn and/or twist, I'll awake from the pain. It's been a strong pulling sensation just to the left of my sternum and along my left flank, below the armpit. The armpit discomfort is pretty steady, as usual.
Another sensation that has returned from post-surgery days is the feeling of having a lightning storm in my left breast. It's like an electric stabbing feeling that starts at my very sore nipple and goes straight back to my chest wall, spreading throughout the breast along the way. Thankfully, I'm having a break from that particular nightmare today, but it sucked mightily yesterday and didn't let up much at all.
Even though I've been advised to wear a cotton bra, today I've returned to my sports bras for more support. It's been helpful. The suggestion to return to more support came from Dr. McManus. I've doubled the frequency of cream applications, which is helping take care of my skin.
If it wasn't so slathered in therapeutic creams such as Calendula and Cetaphil eczema, I think the nipple area would be in really bad shape. Tammy commented on it, "That looks really raw and angry." That's exactly how it feels, Tam.
The rest of the breast is now pretty red, although the scar side remains paler than the inside portion. I asked Dr. Desai's nurse about that, and she said that it happens. I'll see Dr. Desai again on Monday, as per usual.
Otherwise, the prevailing fatigue has really set in. After I do most things, I need a rest. By 2 pm, I'm wiped out. That side effect makes most things a struggle, so during this 2-week vacation, I've been trying to do what I can while I have energy, and resting when I don't. Mornings are much better than any other time.
I'm also having increased memory problems, although that also could be hormones (or lack thereof). I've been forgetting which days I've made plans to walk with people or forgetting to look on the calendar. I've also been forgetting more words than usual. It's tiresome, but for now, I'm very grateful for people who finish my sentences.
After I finish radiation, there's a gap of a couple of weeks before I start the next phase of treatment with Dr. Omene. The break will be appreciated, I predict.
Thanks again, especially to everyone who has been checking in on me lately. I know I haven't been reaching out the way I normally would. I'm just wiped out and stuff hurts.
Thanks, as always, for the prayers, kind thoughts, positive energy, very funny memes and images, movie and TV recommendations, gifts, and love. I am grateful for your continued reading of these diary entries. I can only hope that someone finds them useful someday (or today).
If you haven't gotten your mammogram, please schedule it. Early detection is key.
Happy New Year!!!
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