The Breast Cancer Diaries, vol. 2, issue 2

A Milestone and a Lot More Pain

You'll be glad to know that I'm keeping this entry short. I'm exhausted and in a high degree of pain. I just don't have it in me to write for any length of time right now.

Today was my last day of radiation treatment. Rang the hand bell at the nurses' station and everything. Wish I could say the moment was triumphant, but it felt anticlimactic because there's another two weeks or so of radiation side effects ahead of me.

This has been the toughest week yet, and it's only Wednesday. I haven't slept much in days because the pain from the radiation burns has increased a great deal. When I do sleep, it might be for 40 minutes, then there's searing pain under the breast, where it's raw, open, blistered, and weeping. The weeping started yesterday. It's as awful as it sounds. I've been cleaning the area with cotton rounds soaked in antiseptic at least 4 times a day, but it just keeps on weeping.

There's also my armpit, which is barely recognizable. It's swollen (not like the seroma, but the whole thing), very angry looking, and open in two spots. That piece is a mystery to me. The armpit has barely been any trouble since the beginning of the treatment, but since I've been receiving the "boost" to the scar on the breast (not the armpit), it's turned into a truly sore spot.

I've been doing all I can with the moisturizers, calendula, Neosporin, and cortisone creams, but the burns have gotten the better of me. Dr. Desai said that they expected it and offered me a narcotic for the pain, which I declined because I don't take narcotics (my anniversary is coming up, watch for the post). He also said to watch for a fever because it's easy to develop an infection at this point. Frankly, it looks pretty scary to me already.

I made an appointment for tomorrow morning with a new dermatologist. Turns out, my guy retired. He is younger than I am by about 15 years, and I said something like that to the scheduler who said he took a medical retirement. Hope he's OK. He was a good doctor.

I told the scheduler of my situation and asked if either of the docs had experience with radiation burns from treatment. She said they both could deal with it. I told her of the immediacy, and she squeezed me in. Hopefully, the doc will be able to offer me some hope and relief.

Wish me luck!

Thanks, as ever, for your continued support, prayers, and love. I appreciate it more than you will ever know.